Welcome to Phoenix
I recently passed through the Phoenix Airport en
route to another destination in the United States (Chicago, if you must
know ), and the experience my traveling companion and I shared will I
hope prove instructive with regard to why we can't let the goddam lefty-liberals
take over even the House of Representatives in the upcoming mid-term elections,
let alone the House and the Senate. Our experience managed to coalesce
precisely what might well happen if we give up stewardship of our national
security to the Democrats.
First, my travelling companion, Eva (a 64-year-old blond lady who is in
fabulous shape and who could pass for late-40s in a heartbeat), was forbidden
to take two ballpoint pens with her as we boarded our flight.
"Why do you think they confiscated your ballpoint pens, Eva?"
I asked her after we'd passed through the checkpoint.
"I'll tell you," Eva said, "I think it was because there's
that book out that says that if Islamist terrorists are attempting to
highjack a flight you're on, you should use a ballpoint pen as a weapon
and hold it like a knife and bring this ballpoint pen down on the highjackers
and attempt to stab them in the eyes and disable them."
I said to her, "So you think that the airport security people are
trying to make sure that you don't have even a ballpoint pen to protect
yourself if Islamist terrorists attempt to highjack your flight?"
At that moment, our attention was brought back to the Middle Eastern male
passenger who was passing through the same gate we had just cleared, albeit
minus Eva's ballpoint pens.
"Welcome to Phoenix, Mr., uh, Rahgiv Ramadan? Is that right? We just
have a few little details to check on as you pass through to board your
"Let's see, Mr. Ramadan . . . are you named after the holiday? Wonderful
holiday. Wonderful addition to the world family of holidays.
"Isn't Ramadan the one where Muslims of different sects kill each
other just because they belong to different branches of your wonderful
religion? Men, women, children, doesn't matter who they kill? Wonderful
addition to the world family of holidays, Mr. Ramadan.
"And are you wearing those new clock shoes, Mr. Ramadan? You're the
second guy through this airport today whose shoes were ticking. How do
you like those clock shoes? Must be very efficient, not having to strap
on a wrist watch every day.
"Thank you, Mr. Ramadan. Have a pleasant flight."